Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster
12 May 2005
- Take the juice from one bottle of that Ol’ Janx Spirit.
- Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V.
- Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzene is lost).
- Allow four litres of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it.
- Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qalactin Hypermint extract.
- Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger.
- Sprinkle Zamphuor.
- Add an olive.
- Drink … but … very carefully …
[The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy] says that the effect of a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.
With the Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy movie finally released after spending what seems like an eternity in development hell, I’m on the search for a good earth version of the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. Wikipedia has a good start: Absolute Citron for the lemon, Goldschlager and Bacardi 151 for the gold, and Everclear to tame the cinnamon from the Goldschlager. Ignoring the fact that the original recipe clearly calls for gin, not vodka, this is a pretty decent attempt. Unfortunately my bar doesn’t stock Goldschlager, let alone Everclear, so I won’t be trying this drink for a while.
The folks over at H2G2 have taken a much more scientific approach to the problem.
‘Qualactin Hypermint extract’ implies a mint oil of some kind and while the ‘hyper’ prefix indicates that the extract may be strong, the phrase ’subtle sweet and mystic’, used to describe the aroma, indicates that it should not be overpoweringly so.
Their final recipe is unfortunately delivered without measurements, but provides a solid starting point for your own experimental concoctions. Personally I intend to start by replacing the cider with ginger beer.
- Strong white rum, kept in the freezer.
- Cheap, fizzy, cider.
- Cubes of strong gin, previously made in the freezer ice tray.
- Some form of mint liqueur for flavour, aroma and colour.
- Lemon oil - not too much.
- A dash of green Tabasco.
- A sprinkle of cinnamon.
- An olive, to serve.
